on writing and being myself.

Is there something you do that makes you feel like yourself? I mean that in the deepest, truest way.

For some people, it’s drawing or running. For others, it’s cooking or hiking or any number of other things. It could even be your profession; I think many teachers I know feel this way.

It looks a little different for everyone, but if you have something like this in your life, you know it.

It’s when you are suddenly reminded of who you really are, without all the pretense. The busyness of everyday life falls to the side, and you are reconnected to yourself.  You instinctively know that you are doing what you were meant for.

That doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re good at it or that it comes easy — oftentimes, it’s the opposite. Sometimes, it’s painful; it’s difficult to see light shed on the parts of yourself that you aren’t always willing to see. But it always feels coming home.

As for me, while I have a lot of hobbies I enjoy, nothing makes me feel that way the way writing does (although reading a good book is a close second).

I can’t put my finger on why exactly, but writing makes me me. It has for as long as I can remember. I consider it an indelible part of who I am.

If I’m not writing regularly, I feel like I’m doing something wrong. I feel unsettled, disjointed, and disconnected. Sometimes I scratch my head and wonder why I have those feelings, but deep down, I already know.

Eventually, I always come back to this–and by this, I mean writing in all of it’s forms. Frequently, it’s in the form of black ink scrawled across the pages of the black Moleskin journals I’ve favored since high school. More often than ever, it’s my fingers furiously typing words on my Macbook. In moments of desperation when I feel like I can’t hold the words inside or I might explode, it’s scribbling words on whatever scrap of paper I can find. These days, it’s even notes tapped out on my iPhone (hi, my name is Megan, and I’m a Millennial).

Call it whatever you like–passion, a creative outlet, self-expression–but I care more about the significance than the label.

I have thought a lot over these past few months about writing and even wrote a blog post once before about recommitting myself to blogging regularly. And now I’m saying it yet again, with no clue or idea of where this will lead.

But, I’m going to try to put something out in this space on a regular basis (maybe once a week or so?). I’m thinking that a change in space and distance from the writing that I did during JVC might do me some good. It’s still hard to process that that part of my life is over because it was so formative, but the fact of the matter is, I’m in a different place now.

I’m starting something new.

And I’m actually really excited.

Thanks for following along.

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