This city. This city, y’all.
It has the potential to make you, but first, it will break you. If you aren’t careful, it will eat you up and spit you out. “If you aren’t passionate enough, you won’t make it,” they say. They shake their heads, and you worry (again) that you don’t have what it takes.
This city will take all you have, and it will won’t be shy about it. It won’t take it’s time. Before you know it, you’ll be disorientated standing on the side of the street, holding a distraught new friend in your arms. Tears will slip from her eyes, and you’ll blink back your own.
You’ll sit with her in the back seat of an Uber, talking life and dreams and relationships and loss. Somehow, the driver will say the most meaningful things you’ve heard since arriving.
“When one door closes, ten more open,” he says. And then, later, “Everyone needs someone.”
“Yes, yes, we do need each other,” you think. We need each other deeply, desperately, but not in the way he means.
Mostly, you just need friends who know how to listen and be a rock of support in this city of ambition.
Now that you’re finally in this city of hustle and bustle and noise–so much noise–you still don’t understand. You still wonder and pray and hope and wish you knew the answers.
But you also know that this city somehow holds the truths you’re meant to discover. They’re just around the next corner, beyond the curve in the metro, on the faces of the strangers on the bus.
As always, distance can be overwhelming. You are so far away from all those you have held dear these past years. The night you fell apart, sobbing that you didn’t want to learn to live without them, feels like a lifetime ago… but it was two weeks ago.
Somehow, you’re a different person now. Somehow, this city has already changed you, quicker than you believed possible.
You fall asleep every night in a new bed, in a new room, mind racing, heart full, body exhausted. And you can’t imagine any other way.
You can’t imagine doing anything else with this life.
You can’t wait to see what next week will hold.